Bev,
I told my family the whole story, and all were horrified but my 10th
grader was not so surprised, because she had heard some of the horror
stories. Tells us that her school does not have a "zero tolerance"
policy (which we adults had never heard of). She also said that what
happened to Kate would ONLY have happended to a good kid who ISN'T a
drug dealer, because the people who DO DEAL DRUGS always are quite well
versed in the law, since they, unlike the good kids, are planning on
breaking it. They have a "student handbook" which is about 700 pages
long and the kids have to sign that they have read and will comply with
everything in it. Of course nobody reads it because it's too long and
silly. But the drug dealers just have to turn to the section on drug
policy, since they are more focused.
Also my little honor student is also a drug dealer, because she gave
some tylenol to her buddy in knowing violation of the school policy on
that.
And about kids. The one thing they lack is experience. In particular,
they have no idea what jerks people can be. Expecially a kid who never
gets in trouble and who doesn't spend her time with people who do. One
of my nephews decided to have a party in a house that his family had
just built and was within a few weeks of moving into. He thought it
would be a cool thing to do. Of course the adults were not to know. He
was about 16 at the time. I am sure he imagined that they would play
loud music and drink too much and generally do that which they were not
supposed to do. Well I don't know about you but this doesn't sound that
horrifying to me. So he invited a few people, and they invited a few
others......
The people who finally showed up, and there were lots, wrecked the
house.
Busted up the sheetrock, broke the windows. There was no phone so he
couldn't even call the police on himself. I am sure that never in a
million years did he imagine that outcome. Only a vandal would know
that people actually do those things.
When I was 12, 7th grade, my parents left town with my younger siblings
and left me and my 18 year-old sister in our home. Well, she wanted to
have her boyfried stay for the weekend and I didn't care, I just wanted
to have a big party like the cool people did. Of course 18 year olds
could buy booze then. So to make a long story short, we ended up with a
housefull of drunken 12 & 13 year old kids. The miracle is, nobody was
injured, the police didn't come, and my parents never found out! My
friends who slept over and I all threw up and had hangovers. I lost my
appetite for cheese puffs.
But nobody broke anything. I did see how things could get out of
control though, in ways I never would have thought of before, and I
didn't like what I saw. I never did it again, no even when I got my own
house. I don't drink. I wouldn't leave my kids in the house over a
long weekend, even though they probably would be much less likely than I
to do what I did.
I was obviously more of a drug dealer than Kate. We fully intended to
drink too much, and bought enough beer to get 50 kids drunk.
Like everyone here, I think you are doing a great job with this
situation and feel sure that you will turn it into something positive.
Great to hear that the teachers are willing to step in. Keep us posted.
Loren in NJ
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