I couldn't resist sharing
>Date: Wed, 3 Feb 1999 18:30:17 EST
>Subject: A NEW ELEMENT IS DISCOVERED
>A NEW ELEMENT IS DISCOVERED
>* Submitted by J Lans
>The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by
>investigators at a major US research university. The element, tentatively,
>named "ADMINISTRATIUM", appears to be very closely related to BUREAUCRATIUM-a
>known deadly poison. "ADMINISTRATIUM" has no
>protons or electrons and thus has anatomic number of O.
>Upon initial inspection, however, it does have:
>* one neutron,
>* 125 assistant neutrons,
>* 75 vice neutrons and
>* 111 assistant vice neutrons, which together gives it an atomic mass
>* These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the
>continuous exchange of meson-like particles called MORONS.
>* It is also surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles
>Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can be
>detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with.
>According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium causes one
>reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normally
>occurred in less than a second.
>Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately THREE YEARS, at which
>time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which
>assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange
>places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually INCREASES
>after each reorganization.
>Research at other laboratories indicates that administratium occurs
>naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such
>as government agencies, large corporations, and universities. It can usually
>be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings.
>Scientists point out that administratium is known to be toxic at any level
>of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is
>allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how
>administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results
>to date are not promising.
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