>I got this one and thought you would enjoy it. It goes along with the
>farm business theme....
>
>--------- Begin forwarded message ---------
>
>Copy of letter to:
>
>Honorable Secretary of Agriculture Washington D.C.
>
>Dear Sir:
> My friend Dan, over at Honey Creek, Iowa, received a check for
>$1,000
>from the government for not raising hogs. So I want to go into the "Not
>Raising Hogs" business next year.
> What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of
>farm not to raise hogs on? And what is the best breed of hogs not to
>raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with
>all the government policies. I would prefer not to raise razorbacks, but
>if that is not a good breed not to raise, then whatever you would suggest
>will be the one I will not raise. As I see it, the hardest part of the
>Not Raising Hogs Program is keeping an accurate inventory of how many
>hogs
>I haven't raised.
> My friend, Dan, is very joyful about the future of the business. He
>has been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and the best he has ever
>made on them was $422.90 in 1968, until this year when he got your check
>for $1,000 for not raising hogs.
> If I get $1,000 for not raising 50 hogs, then would I get $2,000 for
>not raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first,
>holding myself to about 4,000 hogs not raised the first year, which
>should
>bring in about $80,000--then I can afford an airplane.
> Now another thing; these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000
>bushels of corn. I understand that the government also pays people not
>to
>raise corn and wheat. Would I qualify for payments for not raising these
>crops not to feed my hogs that I will not be raising?
> I want to get started as soon as possible as this seems to be a good
>time of the year for the "Not Raising Hogs" and "Not Planting Crops"
>businesses.
> Also, I am giving serious consideration to the "Not Milking Cows"
>business, and any information for that business would be appreciated.
> In view of the fact that I will be totally unemployed, I will be
>filing for unemployment and food stamps and was wondering how long that
>process takes.
> Be assured, Mr. Secretary, you will have my vote.
>
> Patriotically Yours,
> Don
>
>P.S. Would you please notify me when you plan to give out the free
>cheese
> again?
>
>--------- End forwarded message ---------
>
>I wish a truly joyous Christmas to all on the list who celebrate it.
>
>.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.
>Rob Loach in Greenville SC
>mailto:deloges@juno.com
>Exalt Christ this Christmas
>.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.
>
>
>
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